Stress

What do you do when your young adult tells you that he is stressed out by his studies?

I have experienced stress in my job. That's because I use my brain, eyes and grey matter quite a bit and I work more than 8 hours a day..... but a young person telling you he is stressed? Apparently this comment seems to be commonplace nowadays. My god grandson was saying to his friend that school stresses him out! I was rather shocked when I heard it. Stressed in studies? I wonder what will happen to them when they come out to work.

Well in Samuel's case, he decided to do something about the stress. He made the decision (without consulting us) to skip one term of college and take a break from his studies. We thought that he was going for classes as he left and came back at his usual time. Later we found out that he did go back to college but only to play badminton.

Imagine our shock when we found out during his Uni open day, that he had opted out for a term to escape the stress of studies. That really made the father boiled. He was on the war path with his son and there was a shouting match at home. When the situation calmed down, we realized that what's done is done and we had to leave him be. At 21, we really could not take the belt or spank him across his buttocks or give him a tight slap. Yelling and screaming did not changed the status quo. My son is as stubborn as he can be, just like his father. That leaves me the mother peacemaker having to sit down and ask him some probing questions on why he did what he did.

 We sought counselling from his teachers and decided to let him take his course at the pace that's best suited for him. After all he had 5 years to finish his diploma. So what if at 25, others would have graduated with a degree ahead of him (especially his younger sister) and that he had only a diploma.

When something like this happens, we will often try to evaluate where we have failed in our parenting duties. Oftentimes I will also compare him with other young adults who seem more to be more accomplished than him.

I have decided to let him be. He is 21. If he finds his studies stressful and that he needs a longer time to complete his course, I will have to accept it. It is his life and his future. The more important thing is for him to graduate one day. I am looking forward to that.