Young people love cars. The moment they reach the age they can drive, they will bug you to pay for their driving lessons.
After 2 cases of 'licence' abuse (one by the elder sister and the other by the driver), Tim decided to put the brakes on paying for the licence of the youngest daughter. Despite her badgering, complaining, nagging and arguing, daddy would not budge. He said that there was only 2 cars in the family, one for him and the other for the brother to drive to college. Amanda, the ever determined girl she was, decided to work to save money to pay for her licence.
A very noble thought indeed but I have learnt that sometimes the glam and the glitter of KL shopping malls (modern temple, as a preacher called it!) will quickly put paid to any ideas of saving for driving lessons, purchase of cars or holidays or whatever else....alas after deducting EPF, SOCSO and all her shopping bills at Uniclo (you guess it she worked there and was tempted by the staff discounts) nothing much was left for her at the end of the day. The only treat she probably gave us with her pay (unless my memory failed me) was a MacD big breakfast on the way to Singapore during our March holiday this year on the ship, Libra.
At the end of the day, mummy had to graciously give her some money to help pay for her driving lessons (as an ample excuse in case daddy asked mummy, we conspired to say that it was an ang pow for her for good results). However this is a fact which cannot be denied as she did get sterling results for her second re-sit of the Maths, Bio and Chemistry paper for her Foundation in Science.
Anyway, she just completed her driving exam. Whilst all of us passed ours at first try, mummy being the oldest at 34 (yep, that's how old I was when I took up the wheels but I passed) she made family history by being the first to fail her exam!
I wonder who is going to pay for the repeat lessons? Don't look at me!
Friday, October 28, 2011
Sweet girl
Each child in my family is unique. They are really specially created by God to fit into our family. My eldest daughter is a lovely and mature girl, wise beyond her years. My son is funny, jovial and a quiet person but my youngest girl is really sweet. Amanda is my constant companion whenever she is home. She finds time to be with me and to go shopping with me or just generally chit chat. I love to hear her playing on the piano, singing and talking in her lilting voice.
The other day, she took my hand and told me "Mummy I pray for you everyday. I pray that you don't get cancer." As it turns out, one of her friend's mum had cancer at a young age and he had to skip a year of uni to take care of her. Amanda told me that she prayed hard for me that I won't get cancer as she loved me so much.
It is moments like this that makes you weak in the knees and brings tears to your eyes. How wonderful to have your children telling you that they love you so much....
Amanda suggested that we visit the mother of her friend who was recovering from cancer and I willingly took her there. Her loving and kind heart has touched me once again....I must have done something right in bringing her up....
The other day, she took my hand and told me "Mummy I pray for you everyday. I pray that you don't get cancer." As it turns out, one of her friend's mum had cancer at a young age and he had to skip a year of uni to take care of her. Amanda told me that she prayed hard for me that I won't get cancer as she loved me so much.
It is moments like this that makes you weak in the knees and brings tears to your eyes. How wonderful to have your children telling you that they love you so much....
Amanda suggested that we visit the mother of her friend who was recovering from cancer and I willingly took her there. Her loving and kind heart has touched me once again....I must have done something right in bringing her up....
Stress
What do you do when your young adult tells you that he is stressed out by his studies?
I have experienced stress in my job. That's because I use my brain, eyes and grey matter quite a bit and I work more than 8 hours a day..... but a young person telling you he is stressed? Apparently this comment seems to be commonplace nowadays. My god grandson was saying to his friend that school stresses him out! I was rather shocked when I heard it. Stressed in studies? I wonder what will happen to them when they come out to work.
Well in Samuel's case, he decided to do something about the stress. He made the decision (without consulting us) to skip one term of college and take a break from his studies. We thought that he was going for classes as he left and came back at his usual time. Later we found out that he did go back to college but only to play badminton.
Imagine our shock when we found out during his Uni open day, that he had opted out for a term to escape the stress of studies. That really made the father boiled. He was on the war path with his son and there was a shouting match at home. When the situation calmed down, we realized that what's done is done and we had to leave him be. At 21, we really could not take the belt or spank him across his buttocks or give him a tight slap. Yelling and screaming did not changed the status quo. My son is as stubborn as he can be, just like his father. That leaves me the mother peacemaker having to sit down and ask him some probing questions on why he did what he did.
We sought counselling from his teachers and decided to let him take his course at the pace that's best suited for him. After all he had 5 years to finish his diploma. So what if at 25, others would have graduated with a degree ahead of him (especially his younger sister) and that he had only a diploma.
When something like this happens, we will often try to evaluate where we have failed in our parenting duties. Oftentimes I will also compare him with other young adults who seem more to be more accomplished than him.
I have decided to let him be. He is 21. If he finds his studies stressful and that he needs a longer time to complete his course, I will have to accept it. It is his life and his future. The more important thing is for him to graduate one day. I am looking forward to that.
I have experienced stress in my job. That's because I use my brain, eyes and grey matter quite a bit and I work more than 8 hours a day..... but a young person telling you he is stressed? Apparently this comment seems to be commonplace nowadays. My god grandson was saying to his friend that school stresses him out! I was rather shocked when I heard it. Stressed in studies? I wonder what will happen to them when they come out to work.
Well in Samuel's case, he decided to do something about the stress. He made the decision (without consulting us) to skip one term of college and take a break from his studies. We thought that he was going for classes as he left and came back at his usual time. Later we found out that he did go back to college but only to play badminton.
Imagine our shock when we found out during his Uni open day, that he had opted out for a term to escape the stress of studies. That really made the father boiled. He was on the war path with his son and there was a shouting match at home. When the situation calmed down, we realized that what's done is done and we had to leave him be. At 21, we really could not take the belt or spank him across his buttocks or give him a tight slap. Yelling and screaming did not changed the status quo. My son is as stubborn as he can be, just like his father. That leaves me the mother peacemaker having to sit down and ask him some probing questions on why he did what he did.
We sought counselling from his teachers and decided to let him take his course at the pace that's best suited for him. After all he had 5 years to finish his diploma. So what if at 25, others would have graduated with a degree ahead of him (especially his younger sister) and that he had only a diploma.
When something like this happens, we will often try to evaluate where we have failed in our parenting duties. Oftentimes I will also compare him with other young adults who seem more to be more accomplished than him.
I have decided to let him be. He is 21. If he finds his studies stressful and that he needs a longer time to complete his course, I will have to accept it. It is his life and his future. The more important thing is for him to graduate one day. I am looking forward to that.
Money matters
Normally before Tim and I embark on our travels, we will count the pocket money we give the children and give them a little extra just in case of emergencies. It is not uncommon for us to give the young adults RM500 to RM700 before we depart for a 10 day sorjourn overseas. The money is to cover their food and transport and other expenses for the entire time we were away.
Usually it is enough. Except for the 14 day holiday we took to England this year when Amanda blogged to say that she missed us so much (that entry really made my day) the India trip was well managed in terms of finances for them. For the England trip, her money just ended a day before we returned and she was 'desperate' to get more money from me. For India, she had to dip into the emergency funds I left her as she had to pay for school books and other stuff.
Well, its understandable that there will be minuses in the budget especially in dealing with young adults. They must have their MacD's or KFC's or their Starbucks or movies or the occasional dates. They also need now and then to buy the latest concert tickets like Planet Shakers and maybe the latest t-shirts at Uniclo which happen to be on sale. It is inevitable that we as parents have to cough up some of the money to pay for the occasional treat!
In order to maintain good relationship with them, we have to be generous when it comes to allowances and not be tight-fisted. Money goes a long way to build relationships. Giving them a lump sum to handle each time we travel helps them to learn responsibility and accountability in the handling of their funds.
Money does matter to young adults and you have a winnable formula if you are willing to dip into your pockets for the little luxuries they will ask you now and then to finance.
Usually it is enough. Except for the 14 day holiday we took to England this year when Amanda blogged to say that she missed us so much (that entry really made my day) the India trip was well managed in terms of finances for them. For the England trip, her money just ended a day before we returned and she was 'desperate' to get more money from me. For India, she had to dip into the emergency funds I left her as she had to pay for school books and other stuff.
Well, its understandable that there will be minuses in the budget especially in dealing with young adults. They must have their MacD's or KFC's or their Starbucks or movies or the occasional dates. They also need now and then to buy the latest concert tickets like Planet Shakers and maybe the latest t-shirts at Uniclo which happen to be on sale. It is inevitable that we as parents have to cough up some of the money to pay for the occasional treat!
In order to maintain good relationship with them, we have to be generous when it comes to allowances and not be tight-fisted. Money goes a long way to build relationships. Giving them a lump sum to handle each time we travel helps them to learn responsibility and accountability in the handling of their funds.
Money does matter to young adults and you have a winnable formula if you are willing to dip into your pockets for the little luxuries they will ask you now and then to finance.
Samuel's new passion
Well, my son is staying home more nowadays. I think there is something about pets that bring out the loving nature in children and even young adults. Since getting the family of hamsters from his younger sister, I can see that he has enjoyed taking care of them, feeding them and playing with them.
All their previous hamsters have died an untimely death. Tim just cannot stand the sight of hamster parents biting off the heads of their young ones. According to Amanda, we should not be touching the babies too much. It is the human touch smell that triggers the 'killer instinct'. The other thing that Tim absolutely dislikes is the hamsters escaping from their cage and biting the sofa sets in the house. As long as they were kept inside Sam's room, it was fine with him.
So far so good I must say....at least I don't see him playing computer games like crazy before. He used to sit in front of the PC from the time he woke up (usually 4 pm) till 4 am in the morning!
Pets, no matter what shape and sizes does do something to the children! Somehow it makes them more responsible and caring and brings out tenderness and love in them.
All their previous hamsters have died an untimely death. Tim just cannot stand the sight of hamster parents biting off the heads of their young ones. According to Amanda, we should not be touching the babies too much. It is the human touch smell that triggers the 'killer instinct'. The other thing that Tim absolutely dislikes is the hamsters escaping from their cage and biting the sofa sets in the house. As long as they were kept inside Sam's room, it was fine with him.
So far so good I must say....at least I don't see him playing computer games like crazy before. He used to sit in front of the PC from the time he woke up (usually 4 pm) till 4 am in the morning!
Pets, no matter what shape and sizes does do something to the children! Somehow it makes them more responsible and caring and brings out tenderness and love in them.
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