What do you do when your young adult tells you that he is stressed out by his studies?
I have experienced stress in my job. That's because I use my brain, eyes and grey matter quite a bit and I work more than 8 hours a day..... but a young person telling you he is stressed? Apparently this comment seems to be commonplace nowadays. My god grandson was saying to his friend that school stresses him out! I was rather shocked when I heard it. Stressed in studies? I wonder what will happen to them when they come out to work.
Well in Samuel's case, he decided to do something about the stress. He made the decision (without consulting us) to skip one term of college and take a break from his studies. We thought that he was going for classes as he left and came back at his usual time. Later we found out that he did go back to college but only to play badminton.
Imagine our shock when we found out during his Uni open day, that he had opted out for a term to escape the stress of studies. That really made the father boiled. He was on the war path with his son and there was a shouting match at home. When the situation calmed down, we realized that what's done is done and we had to leave him be. At 21, we really could not take the belt or spank him across his buttocks or give him a tight slap. Yelling and screaming did not changed the status quo. My son is as stubborn as he can be, just like his father. That leaves me the mother peacemaker having to sit down and ask him some probing questions on why he did what he did.
We sought counselling from his teachers and decided to let him take his course at the pace that's best suited for him. After all he had 5 years to finish his diploma. So what if at 25, others would have graduated with a degree ahead of him (especially his younger sister) and that he had only a diploma.
When something like this happens, we will often try to evaluate where we have failed in our parenting duties. Oftentimes I will also compare him with other young adults who seem more to be more accomplished than him.
I have decided to let him be. He is 21. If he finds his studies stressful and that he needs a longer time to complete his course, I will have to accept it. It is his life and his future. The more important thing is for him to graduate one day. I am looking forward to that.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Money matters
Normally before Tim and I embark on our travels, we will count the pocket money we give the children and give them a little extra just in case of emergencies. It is not uncommon for us to give the young adults RM500 to RM700 before we depart for a 10 day sorjourn overseas. The money is to cover their food and transport and other expenses for the entire time we were away.
Usually it is enough. Except for the 14 day holiday we took to England this year when Amanda blogged to say that she missed us so much (that entry really made my day) the India trip was well managed in terms of finances for them. For the England trip, her money just ended a day before we returned and she was 'desperate' to get more money from me. For India, she had to dip into the emergency funds I left her as she had to pay for school books and other stuff.
Well, its understandable that there will be minuses in the budget especially in dealing with young adults. They must have their MacD's or KFC's or their Starbucks or movies or the occasional dates. They also need now and then to buy the latest concert tickets like Planet Shakers and maybe the latest t-shirts at Uniclo which happen to be on sale. It is inevitable that we as parents have to cough up some of the money to pay for the occasional treat!
In order to maintain good relationship with them, we have to be generous when it comes to allowances and not be tight-fisted. Money goes a long way to build relationships. Giving them a lump sum to handle each time we travel helps them to learn responsibility and accountability in the handling of their funds.
Money does matter to young adults and you have a winnable formula if you are willing to dip into your pockets for the little luxuries they will ask you now and then to finance.
Usually it is enough. Except for the 14 day holiday we took to England this year when Amanda blogged to say that she missed us so much (that entry really made my day) the India trip was well managed in terms of finances for them. For the England trip, her money just ended a day before we returned and she was 'desperate' to get more money from me. For India, she had to dip into the emergency funds I left her as she had to pay for school books and other stuff.
Well, its understandable that there will be minuses in the budget especially in dealing with young adults. They must have their MacD's or KFC's or their Starbucks or movies or the occasional dates. They also need now and then to buy the latest concert tickets like Planet Shakers and maybe the latest t-shirts at Uniclo which happen to be on sale. It is inevitable that we as parents have to cough up some of the money to pay for the occasional treat!
In order to maintain good relationship with them, we have to be generous when it comes to allowances and not be tight-fisted. Money goes a long way to build relationships. Giving them a lump sum to handle each time we travel helps them to learn responsibility and accountability in the handling of their funds.
Money does matter to young adults and you have a winnable formula if you are willing to dip into your pockets for the little luxuries they will ask you now and then to finance.
Samuel's new passion
Well, my son is staying home more nowadays. I think there is something about pets that bring out the loving nature in children and even young adults. Since getting the family of hamsters from his younger sister, I can see that he has enjoyed taking care of them, feeding them and playing with them.
All their previous hamsters have died an untimely death. Tim just cannot stand the sight of hamster parents biting off the heads of their young ones. According to Amanda, we should not be touching the babies too much. It is the human touch smell that triggers the 'killer instinct'. The other thing that Tim absolutely dislikes is the hamsters escaping from their cage and biting the sofa sets in the house. As long as they were kept inside Sam's room, it was fine with him.
So far so good I must say....at least I don't see him playing computer games like crazy before. He used to sit in front of the PC from the time he woke up (usually 4 pm) till 4 am in the morning!
Pets, no matter what shape and sizes does do something to the children! Somehow it makes them more responsible and caring and brings out tenderness and love in them.
All their previous hamsters have died an untimely death. Tim just cannot stand the sight of hamster parents biting off the heads of their young ones. According to Amanda, we should not be touching the babies too much. It is the human touch smell that triggers the 'killer instinct'. The other thing that Tim absolutely dislikes is the hamsters escaping from their cage and biting the sofa sets in the house. As long as they were kept inside Sam's room, it was fine with him.
So far so good I must say....at least I don't see him playing computer games like crazy before. He used to sit in front of the PC from the time he woke up (usually 4 pm) till 4 am in the morning!
Pets, no matter what shape and sizes does do something to the children! Somehow it makes them more responsible and caring and brings out tenderness and love in them.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Kew Gardens
We had to take the tube to a village called Kew in order to visit the famed gardens. At the village, we sat down for lunch at a country shop selling fish and chips. Kew village reminded us of the small villages north of Newcastle. It was quiet and had quaint speciality shops selling all kinds of stuff that were uniquely English. I am always fascinated by the English butchers as they operate from shops and display their ham and sausages in glass showcases. I love looking at the different meats on display. After a good meal, we were ready for our long walk! One had to be physically fit to move around in London. Imagine walking over 6 hours a day traversing the tube up and down the stairs and then walking again once we reached our destination.
Kew gardens does not charge visitors but do accept donations in order to ensure that the gardens are well cared for and beautifully manicured. Many themed gardens such as tropical, alpine, japanese, chinese, mediteranean dot the landscape of the gardens. The Princess of Wales greenhouse is located here. However because of the garden's sheer size it is practically impossible to see it all in one day. Almost 3 hours admiring the gardens, the green houses and exploring some of the themed gardens, my legs were giving up on me. I gave up and opted to wait for Tim at the cafe. The cafe itself was interesting with many items that were perculiar only to the gardens like potted plants, postcards of the flowers, pots and seedlings. There was also chocolates specially packed for sale at Kew. I bought some unusual chocolates like the sea-salt and elderflower bars to give away as gifts.
After about an hour or so, Tim returned from exploring the gardens and told me that he too could not visit all of the themed gardens. On the way back to the station, we stopped at the butchers (I was admiring the showcases earlier) and bought 2 ham and chicken french loaf for our dinner. The sandwiches were fresh and tasty but did not quite satisfy our hunger.
We then made the journey back to Southwark for Anne Boleyn. I sat in the gentlemen's box on a very high stool which was not comfortable at all. However it was better than the crowd standing and watching the play. All in all, it was a bit of a dissapointment as I could not hear the dialogue (the actors and actresses did not use any mircrophone or sound systerm). I was a bit envious of the standing crowd who was laughing away at the jokes of Henry the 8th!
Tim met me after the show at the entrance of the teater. He had a good time taking pictures of London by night. We then took a train back to Lambeth North and ordered chicken chow mein takeaway from any Chinese takeaway near the hotel. The chow mein had bits of char siew and onions and was delicious. The only setback was that it was cooked with bean sprouts, which I did not like.
I woke up at 3 am and decided to go the 24 hour store opposite the hotel to buy a bottle of aspirin. With 2 aspirins, I managed to sleep till about 7 in the morning. I was still in the throes of my jet lag.....
Kew gardens does not charge visitors but do accept donations in order to ensure that the gardens are well cared for and beautifully manicured. Many themed gardens such as tropical, alpine, japanese, chinese, mediteranean dot the landscape of the gardens. The Princess of Wales greenhouse is located here. However because of the garden's sheer size it is practically impossible to see it all in one day. Almost 3 hours admiring the gardens, the green houses and exploring some of the themed gardens, my legs were giving up on me. I gave up and opted to wait for Tim at the cafe. The cafe itself was interesting with many items that were perculiar only to the gardens like potted plants, postcards of the flowers, pots and seedlings. There was also chocolates specially packed for sale at Kew. I bought some unusual chocolates like the sea-salt and elderflower bars to give away as gifts.
After about an hour or so, Tim returned from exploring the gardens and told me that he too could not visit all of the themed gardens. On the way back to the station, we stopped at the butchers (I was admiring the showcases earlier) and bought 2 ham and chicken french loaf for our dinner. The sandwiches were fresh and tasty but did not quite satisfy our hunger.
We then made the journey back to Southwark for Anne Boleyn. I sat in the gentlemen's box on a very high stool which was not comfortable at all. However it was better than the crowd standing and watching the play. All in all, it was a bit of a dissapointment as I could not hear the dialogue (the actors and actresses did not use any mircrophone or sound systerm). I was a bit envious of the standing crowd who was laughing away at the jokes of Henry the 8th!
Tim met me after the show at the entrance of the teater. He had a good time taking pictures of London by night. We then took a train back to Lambeth North and ordered chicken chow mein takeaway from any Chinese takeaway near the hotel. The chow mein had bits of char siew and onions and was delicious. The only setback was that it was cooked with bean sprouts, which I did not like.
I woke up at 3 am and decided to go the 24 hour store opposite the hotel to buy a bottle of aspirin. With 2 aspirins, I managed to sleep till about 7 in the morning. I was still in the throes of my jet lag.....
Globe Teater
On our second day we had breakfast at Costa, a cafe next door to the hotel. We had croissants, tea and coffee. After breakfast, we took the Jubilee line to Waterloo station. At the Waterloo intersection, we took the grey line (District line) to Southwark for our guided tour of the Globe Teater.
Tim had booked a visit to Globe Teater on the internet before our London trip. Before the tour, there was an exhibition on Shakespeare, his works, his life and his plays. A very animated guide took us on a tour around the teater. The heart of the teater is a circular open-air teater with seats in an ascending manner and arranged in a semi-circle. The seats looked out onto a stage with an extended platform in the middle of the stage. Unlike the stage which is covered, the extended platform is not. Spectators can buy tickets for shows performed on the stage, the cheapest being the 'standing' ticket i.e standing up in the open space before the stage to watch plays being performed. GBP 5 for 2 hours standing up watching a play with a 15 minute toilet break!
The roof covered the ascending seats. According to the guide, the straw and hay used to make the roof had to be imported with Norway as England had run out of it due to global warming! Over time, due to pollution the straw changed to a silvery grey from its original color of golden brown. The seats and the teater were made of oak with nary a nail in place. What held them together was only giant wooden pegs! Amazing.
In the 1600, Shakespeare's plays were performed for the working folks at 1 p per show standing up. For those desiring to sit in the stalls or the gentlemen's box i.e where the gentitlity sat be prepared to pay up to GBP75. In fact when the queen attended one of the shows at the teater, she sat at the gentlemen's box. There were also seats or stalls with railings for the more bawdy kind. The railings were to prevent the drunkards from falling over onto the stage below! In those days going to the teater like the Globe Teater was like going to the cinema. On the spur of the moment I decided to buy the last seat in the gentlemen's box i.e. seat no: 6 for the 7.30 pm show of Anne Boleyn. Tim decided to spend the time taking pictures of London after.
However as the guided tour ended about 11 am and we had time to spare before the show at night, we decided to visit Kew Gardens.
Tim had booked a visit to Globe Teater on the internet before our London trip. Before the tour, there was an exhibition on Shakespeare, his works, his life and his plays. A very animated guide took us on a tour around the teater. The heart of the teater is a circular open-air teater with seats in an ascending manner and arranged in a semi-circle. The seats looked out onto a stage with an extended platform in the middle of the stage. Unlike the stage which is covered, the extended platform is not. Spectators can buy tickets for shows performed on the stage, the cheapest being the 'standing' ticket i.e standing up in the open space before the stage to watch plays being performed. GBP 5 for 2 hours standing up watching a play with a 15 minute toilet break!
The roof covered the ascending seats. According to the guide, the straw and hay used to make the roof had to be imported with Norway as England had run out of it due to global warming! Over time, due to pollution the straw changed to a silvery grey from its original color of golden brown. The seats and the teater were made of oak with nary a nail in place. What held them together was only giant wooden pegs! Amazing.
In the 1600, Shakespeare's plays were performed for the working folks at 1 p per show standing up. For those desiring to sit in the stalls or the gentlemen's box i.e where the gentitlity sat be prepared to pay up to GBP75. In fact when the queen attended one of the shows at the teater, she sat at the gentlemen's box. There were also seats or stalls with railings for the more bawdy kind. The railings were to prevent the drunkards from falling over onto the stage below! In those days going to the teater like the Globe Teater was like going to the cinema. On the spur of the moment I decided to buy the last seat in the gentlemen's box i.e. seat no: 6 for the 7.30 pm show of Anne Boleyn. Tim decided to spend the time taking pictures of London after.
However as the guided tour ended about 11 am and we had time to spare before the show at night, we decided to visit Kew Gardens.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
First night in London
As it was still very bright (in summer, the sun sets only about 9.30 pm), we took a walk to the Imperial War Musuem. We saw some graduates having a dinner reception in the garden of the Musuem. We took photos posing beside a huge cannon and some of the lovely flowers grown in the gardens. In Britain, lovely flowers of all colors and designs bloom freely especially in parks and gardens.
We took a slow walk along the river Thames. We saw many big and small ships carrying tourists on board. Almost every major city in England is located near a river. For e.g. Newcastle upon Tyne is located on the Tyne river. Arundell is located on the river Avon. Llangollen is on the river Dee. London on the river Thames. Many centuries ago, the river Thames was a bustling commercial waterway on which many merchant ships sailed up and down loading and off-loading their wares. It was the Thames river that brought about London's economic prosperity. Life revolved around the rivers in every major cities in England!
We saw many cyclists and joggers along the banks of the river. The beautiful Westminster and the Houses of Parliament are located here along the river banks. Malaysia's parliamentary democracy is based on the Westminster model. To see the intricate and detailed building from afar with its golden hues practically shimmering in the setting sun was something special. It was simply stunning and truly an architectural marvel!
I bought the local mobile phone pack for GBP10 called Lycamobile at the convenience store opposite our hotel. It was really cost savings as I still had credit left even when I left England!
We ate at Meeting Point, a chinese restaurant that opened till past 11 pm near the hotel. For GBP15.90 we had spring rolls, soup and rice with chinese and pork dishes ladled onto our plate. It was a bargain by London standards as we were also given fresh fruits and a pot of chinese tea. Despite the heavy meal, I woke up at 1 am and could not sleep till 6 am....was it the jet lag or the chinese tea?
We took a slow walk along the river Thames. We saw many big and small ships carrying tourists on board. Almost every major city in England is located near a river. For e.g. Newcastle upon Tyne is located on the Tyne river. Arundell is located on the river Avon. Llangollen is on the river Dee. London on the river Thames. Many centuries ago, the river Thames was a bustling commercial waterway on which many merchant ships sailed up and down loading and off-loading their wares. It was the Thames river that brought about London's economic prosperity. Life revolved around the rivers in every major cities in England!
We saw many cyclists and joggers along the banks of the river. The beautiful Westminster and the Houses of Parliament are located here along the river banks. Malaysia's parliamentary democracy is based on the Westminster model. To see the intricate and detailed building from afar with its golden hues practically shimmering in the setting sun was something special. It was simply stunning and truly an architectural marvel!
I bought the local mobile phone pack for GBP10 called Lycamobile at the convenience store opposite our hotel. It was really cost savings as I still had credit left even when I left England!
We ate at Meeting Point, a chinese restaurant that opened till past 11 pm near the hotel. For GBP15.90 we had spring rolls, soup and rice with chinese and pork dishes ladled onto our plate. It was a bargain by London standards as we were also given fresh fruits and a pot of chinese tea. Despite the heavy meal, I woke up at 1 am and could not sleep till 6 am....was it the jet lag or the chinese tea?
Heathrow and the tubes
First time in Colombo and we could not see much of the city in the dark. The van took us past winding roads to a seaside hotel called Jetwing Star. Opposite the hotel we could see rows and rows of shops and restaurants very much like Tanjung Bungah in Penang. Although it was almost 11 pm, the shops and restaurants were still opened. The hotel is a 5 star hotel located near the ocean. The moment we stepped into the cool interior, we could hear the roar of the ocean. It felt like the ocean was just at our doorstep! We could smell and feel the salty tang of the sea. The friendly receptionist and waiter served us a glass of papaya juice each and it was delicious. I loved papaya but papaya juice.....? This was something unique.
We were led to our room. There was a big comfortable bed almost 10 inch thick. It was a marvel because the bed was placed on a cement platform! We marveled at the bathroom. With its brown marbled floor and our essential toiletries in little gunny sacks, we were thanking Air Lanka for this special treat! The room itself was really 5 star by any standards. Unique lampshade accentuated the white marbled floor and brown wooden walls. We were told that dinner was free. We took some photos at the poolside and had dinner at the restaurant facing the roaring sea. We had fruits and cauliflower soup....again something unique to Colombo.
We slept fitfully and had to wake up at about 2.30 pm to wait for the van to take us to the airport. To our surprise the van driver could speak good English. However when we gave him RM5, he asked for RM10 instead saying that he can change it for 50 rupees. We said no! This was something we did not quite like about Colombo. Even in the airport toilet, the cleaning lady waits upon us to hand out toilet tissue and then ask for money!
Will we make a trip to Colombo? After the experience of losing my neck pillow in the van (I was very sure that I lost it while getting down from it), I will not give it a priority that's for sure.
An 8-hour flight took us to Heathrow. Why is it that whatever my meal choice for breakfast and lunch could not be accomodated by the air stewardess? On both occasions I was given what I did not ask for. Some kind of cheesy seafood with rice and vegetarian vermicelli which tasted dry.
We reached Heathrow Terminal 4 (I don't know why there were so many terminals). We were really tired after the long flight. We had to take a red Avis bus to Avis office to confirm our car booking. Avis allowed us to take the car from their office near Waterloo station on the 1st of August as coming back to Heathrow would be really troublesome. From Avis, we took the bus provided to Hatton Cross station at Terminal 5 to Picadilly Circus. From Picadilly Circus, we then took the tube running on the Bakerloo line to Lambeth North.
This was to be our routine for the next one week in London, getting on tubes, changing tubes, checking out the different colored lines on the signboards to find out how to go from one place to another. The most convenient and cheapest way to travel around in London is by the tube or the underground stations. You could get from one town to another just by changing trains. Trains run on different lines for e.g. Bakerloo, Picadilly, Victoria, Central London. Waterloo, Kew, Lambeth North and others. They are denoted by different colors such as white, black, blue, green, yellow, red. You just need to check out the different lines on the many signboards all over the station and then disembark and embark on the stations where the train lines intersect.
If you know English, you can never get lost in London as the signs are really really clear and are located everywhere in the stations. You only need a strong pair of legs and hands if you are carrying luggage as there are long flights of stairs to climb in order to change stations (not all the undergrounds have lifts or escalators).
At GBP7 a day, you can hop on hop off at different stations the whole day long and travel the length and breadth of London.
At Lambeth North, Tune hotel (our home for the next one week in London) was just a block away from the station. Facing the hotel was 2 chinese restaurants and a 24-hour convenience store. A very good location indeed!
For GBP 65 a night per room, Tune hotel is a bargain! TV is free for the first 24 hours, thereafter GBP 10 for the duration of our stay. Breakfast is GBP5 per day (we only paid for 3 days). New towels and toiletries will all be charged extra. London is expensive but Tune hotel is considered cheap compared with the other London hotels (some charged upto GBP 100 a day).
Our hotel room is windowless so we lost track of night and day. There was no wardrobe (we had to hang our clothes on racks above the mirror). The only was to keep our luggage and boxes was under our bed. However it was clean and the bed and pillows were super-comfortable. The toilet was very small but clean.
More coming up.....
We were led to our room. There was a big comfortable bed almost 10 inch thick. It was a marvel because the bed was placed on a cement platform! We marveled at the bathroom. With its brown marbled floor and our essential toiletries in little gunny sacks, we were thanking Air Lanka for this special treat! The room itself was really 5 star by any standards. Unique lampshade accentuated the white marbled floor and brown wooden walls. We were told that dinner was free. We took some photos at the poolside and had dinner at the restaurant facing the roaring sea. We had fruits and cauliflower soup....again something unique to Colombo.
We slept fitfully and had to wake up at about 2.30 pm to wait for the van to take us to the airport. To our surprise the van driver could speak good English. However when we gave him RM5, he asked for RM10 instead saying that he can change it for 50 rupees. We said no! This was something we did not quite like about Colombo. Even in the airport toilet, the cleaning lady waits upon us to hand out toilet tissue and then ask for money!
Will we make a trip to Colombo? After the experience of losing my neck pillow in the van (I was very sure that I lost it while getting down from it), I will not give it a priority that's for sure.
An 8-hour flight took us to Heathrow. Why is it that whatever my meal choice for breakfast and lunch could not be accomodated by the air stewardess? On both occasions I was given what I did not ask for. Some kind of cheesy seafood with rice and vegetarian vermicelli which tasted dry.
We reached Heathrow Terminal 4 (I don't know why there were so many terminals). We were really tired after the long flight. We had to take a red Avis bus to Avis office to confirm our car booking. Avis allowed us to take the car from their office near Waterloo station on the 1st of August as coming back to Heathrow would be really troublesome. From Avis, we took the bus provided to Hatton Cross station at Terminal 5 to Picadilly Circus. From Picadilly Circus, we then took the tube running on the Bakerloo line to Lambeth North.
This was to be our routine for the next one week in London, getting on tubes, changing tubes, checking out the different colored lines on the signboards to find out how to go from one place to another. The most convenient and cheapest way to travel around in London is by the tube or the underground stations. You could get from one town to another just by changing trains. Trains run on different lines for e.g. Bakerloo, Picadilly, Victoria, Central London. Waterloo, Kew, Lambeth North and others. They are denoted by different colors such as white, black, blue, green, yellow, red. You just need to check out the different lines on the many signboards all over the station and then disembark and embark on the stations where the train lines intersect.
If you know English, you can never get lost in London as the signs are really really clear and are located everywhere in the stations. You only need a strong pair of legs and hands if you are carrying luggage as there are long flights of stairs to climb in order to change stations (not all the undergrounds have lifts or escalators).
At GBP7 a day, you can hop on hop off at different stations the whole day long and travel the length and breadth of London.
At Lambeth North, Tune hotel (our home for the next one week in London) was just a block away from the station. Facing the hotel was 2 chinese restaurants and a 24-hour convenience store. A very good location indeed!
For GBP 65 a night per room, Tune hotel is a bargain! TV is free for the first 24 hours, thereafter GBP 10 for the duration of our stay. Breakfast is GBP5 per day (we only paid for 3 days). New towels and toiletries will all be charged extra. London is expensive but Tune hotel is considered cheap compared with the other London hotels (some charged upto GBP 100 a day).
Our hotel room is windowless so we lost track of night and day. There was no wardrobe (we had to hang our clothes on racks above the mirror). The only was to keep our luggage and boxes was under our bed. However it was clean and the bed and pillows were super-comfortable. The toilet was very small but clean.
More coming up.....
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