Recently we made the trip back to Penang for CNY and had a very expensive reunion dinner with Tim's family. Last year our share was about RM250. This year the whole table was RM1k! Wah liao...chiak beh liao...bankrupt liao....!!
Well on another note....I checked my mother's IC and I realize that she is 80 years old! Birthdate: 25 November 1933 (born before the world wars).
No wonder her memory seems to be failing her. She keeps repeating things over and over again. And I realized that the thing that matters most to her now is that we give her the monthly allowance to keep her going. I was just thinking to myself 'how come all that seems to matter to my mother is money...."
She says she is very 'kek sim' (hock kien for excessive worrying) when my sister's cheque got delayed in the mail. Well....blame Pos Malaysia. Ching's cheque finally came - one month late!
She lives for her plants, going to the temple, going to the market, meeting her friends, going to the shops to buy her monthly sanitary staff and her medication, going to pay her utilities and the visits that we make to Penang.
However I thank God that my mum is still relatively healthy save for being a little hard of hearing and arthritis in the knees. She is careful with her diet as she is diabetic. However she loves black coffee which she will take at least twice a day.
Adeline says it is not good for her to drink black coffee (or eat roti chanai which seems to be her favorite breakfast) but I said to let her eat and drink what she wants as she is already in the last days of her life. Let her enjoy her life and there is no point to stop her from doing what she wants.....
These days the driver, Arul takes her around to all her favorite haunts in Penang. Vernie (Suan's maid) also comes on and off to clean the house and take her blood sugar/blood pressure. Thank God for Vernie. Bless her heart as she loves my mother....
3 of us continue to support her financially assuring her that we will see to her monthly financial needs for her continued comfort as long as she lived. For this year, I have upped her monthly allowance up to 3 times the usual amount I give her making the amount more than RM1k.
It can be stressful @ times but I must learn to give thanks. It is always more blessed to give than to receive (Acts 20:35). When I am short of money and often I turn to Tim who has become my friendly money lender (he loans me money to use until my next pay cheque or bonus).
We have decided that a driver is the best option for now as she has refused to have a maid in the house (language problem).
Mum is also scared of maids (horror stories of maids bullying old folks) as she says that they tend to be constantly on the smart phone rather than doing housework. From my experience, they do become phone-addicts after 3 years working with you because of family-familiarity! I had 2 Filipino maids before. Whenever I was on leave, I became their telephone receptionist on the house phone. Those days hand phones were not available......
I continue to pray for my mother's good health and that there will be no need for us to put her in a retirement home. It is better for her to stay in her familiar environment, a place she has called home after my father's death. Tim used to say that if we take old people out of their familiar environment they will die faster...
O yes one more thing, my mother keeps on repeating things. I guess she needs to keep on reminding herself of things to avoid memory loss....
I hope my children will take care of me and Tim when we grow old into our 70s and 80s like the way we take care of our mother.
Sunday, February 9, 2014
The "no-blame hamberger" theory - Thai way of dishing out criticism
I really like this article which appeared in the STAR on Feb 8.
Maybe I should try this on my children or the Gen Y working with me.
Apparently in Thailand when it comes to doing business, understanding and practicing Thai cultures is extremely important.
The success of Vinder who runs Mrs Balbir group of restaurant in Bangkok (a chain of North Indian restaurants) is according to her "learning how to deal with Thais according to their culture" when handling issues or difficult staff.
A true food enthusiast, Vinder calls this her "no-blame hamburger" theory".
She starts with:
1. Bun on the top
"First you have to praise them, fluff them up a little bit, something along the lines of 'I really like this about you, you are doing really well in this area and I appreciate your hard work'.
2. Meat in the middle
"Then you come to the meat, which is the real issue. But the trick is to approach it without putting the blame on the person. Say something like 'I think this particular task could have been done differently. Are you having some sort of difficulty, hence you are unable to perform this task well?'
3. Bun at the bottom
"Finally end with the last bun. 'How do you think you and I can work together so that it does not happen again?'
Not pointing fingers, according to Vinder, is a way of showing respect, which to the Thais is most important.
Hmm....I wonder if this will work with my children or with the young man working with me who seems to be spending more hours on his smart phone than he should be on his assignments....
Maybe I should try this on my children or the Gen Y working with me.
Apparently in Thailand when it comes to doing business, understanding and practicing Thai cultures is extremely important.
The success of Vinder who runs Mrs Balbir group of restaurant in Bangkok (a chain of North Indian restaurants) is according to her "learning how to deal with Thais according to their culture" when handling issues or difficult staff.
A true food enthusiast, Vinder calls this her "no-blame hamburger" theory".
She starts with:
1. Bun on the top
"First you have to praise them, fluff them up a little bit, something along the lines of 'I really like this about you, you are doing really well in this area and I appreciate your hard work'.
2. Meat in the middle
"Then you come to the meat, which is the real issue. But the trick is to approach it without putting the blame on the person. Say something like 'I think this particular task could have been done differently. Are you having some sort of difficulty, hence you are unable to perform this task well?'
3. Bun at the bottom
"Finally end with the last bun. 'How do you think you and I can work together so that it does not happen again?'
Not pointing fingers, according to Vinder, is a way of showing respect, which to the Thais is most important.
Hmm....I wonder if this will work with my children or with the young man working with me who seems to be spending more hours on his smart phone than he should be on his assignments....
Saturday, February 8, 2014
Lessons learnt on how to avoid being robbed
Recently there seem to be a number of robberies happening in KL and Selangor.
Last month Amanda had the window of her Myvi broken by an Indonesia guy and his girlfriend who thought that the bags @ the back of the car contained computer or valuables. She knew that it was an Indonesian guy as he left behind his Uniclo t-shirt which he used to soften the sound of the massive knock on the back window of the car! As it turned out all the bags contained her CNY clothes. I thanked God that my sweet young lady (matured beyond her years) said that "never mind...consider it a blessing for someone in need..."
However Amanda being the girl that she is promptly went out shopping again and came back with more clothes!!
Anyway as she puts it, we should not make a fuss about the second purchase as she was using her hard earned money gained from moonlighting on weekends as a sales promoter and not her parents' money!
Then we heard from Adeline that her boyfriend's sister got robbed @ 4 am in the morning. A group of guys in helmets just came at her as she was walking back to the condo (she had parked her car a distance away) and began bashing her up. They bashed her so severely that her ears were badly injured. They finally stopped when she threw her handbag at them.
Lessons learnt:
1. Don't come home late @ night. If you need to work late drive straight to your doorstep.
2. Don't park in isolated places.
3. Don't put bags @ the back of the car.
4. If you get robbed, just give thanks and consider yourself as contributing to the needy people in our society
5. Don't walk alone if you are coming home late @ night
6. Let go of your hand bag
7. RUN!
Last month Amanda had the window of her Myvi broken by an Indonesia guy and his girlfriend who thought that the bags @ the back of the car contained computer or valuables. She knew that it was an Indonesian guy as he left behind his Uniclo t-shirt which he used to soften the sound of the massive knock on the back window of the car! As it turned out all the bags contained her CNY clothes. I thanked God that my sweet young lady (matured beyond her years) said that "never mind...consider it a blessing for someone in need..."
However Amanda being the girl that she is promptly went out shopping again and came back with more clothes!!
Anyway as she puts it, we should not make a fuss about the second purchase as she was using her hard earned money gained from moonlighting on weekends as a sales promoter and not her parents' money!
Then we heard from Adeline that her boyfriend's sister got robbed @ 4 am in the morning. A group of guys in helmets just came at her as she was walking back to the condo (she had parked her car a distance away) and began bashing her up. They bashed her so severely that her ears were badly injured. They finally stopped when she threw her handbag at them.
Lessons learnt:
1. Don't come home late @ night. If you need to work late drive straight to your doorstep.
2. Don't park in isolated places.
3. Don't put bags @ the back of the car.
4. If you get robbed, just give thanks and consider yourself as contributing to the needy people in our society
5. Don't walk alone if you are coming home late @ night
6. Let go of your hand bag
7. RUN!
Sunday, October 20, 2013
Shanghai Shanghai
The last leg of the tour took us to Shanghai.
We visited the Lion Forest Garden, a scenic location that was supposedly a favorite holiday resort for the empress. Here stones in the shape of lions (apparently transported from the sea) were placed in the gardens for the emperor and empress's enjoyment.
So huge were some of the stones that they formed small mountains with labyrinths in which one could climb and walk through. These were actually limestone mountains and rocks eroded into their present shapes by the elements.
It was here I go to know the oldest member of our group, an 80 plus grandmother with 12 children (including 2 pairs of twins)! She could still walk although she needed some support holding on to her granddaughter who followed her for the tour. This is one thing I like about group tours - making new friends.
Again we were taken to 3 shopping places:
1. Silk Museum - I have been to a silk shop in Beijing but not like this one. At the shop in Beijing we were only shown the loom as an exhibit. Here at Shanghai the silk museum was actually the factory where the silk was harvested from the cocoons of live silkworms. We picked out the greenish bluish worms squirming between our fingers. Fear factor anyone? Just put them in your mouth!
We saw how the good silkworm casings were separated from the bad ones. Then the casings were soaked in hot water and the threads separated at a long loom. One by one the silk threads gradually formed a half-opaque silk blanket that could be stretched by hand on all sides. The silk blanket were then placed inside silk bed-sheets thus making silk spreads. This was real-life not just an exhibits!
So good was this place that our tour members must have spent RMB20k buying silk bed-sheets, bed-spreads, pillows, pillow-covers, comforters, mattress protectors at the silk shops. The grandmother also bought some lovely silk blouses too.
No wonder the tour guide was smiling from cheek to cheek!
2. We were then taken to a jade museum. Here a charming man (he says he is one of the partners) married to a Malaysian with a house in Taynton View gave us a talk on feng shui (most of the time I really don't know what he is saying though)! He took up about an hour and half of our time extolling the virtues of jade and telling stories.
All I know is that the jade pendants are really expensive. They cost something like RMB44k to RMB100k (divide by half to get the RM)! Break it and you probably would have to break your savings to pay them back!
3. We were again taken shopping this time to a medical shop known as TongRen Healthcare. Eager to close a sale, they felt my pulse and said that I should avoid animal innards (actually I have no taste for these things) and they told Tim to avoid fried things. However all their diagnosis seem to be the same for almost everyone!
The cream for burns and arthritis plasters were good but unfortunately they were not willing to sell them piecemeal even though our group wanted to buy 9 of the cream!
2 by 2 we were then taken into consultation cubicles by the Chinese sinsehs present.
One of the Chinese sinseh wanted to recommend Chinese herbs worth RMB400 a month for Tim! We made a hasty retreat.
The highlight of Shanghai was the bus ride passing the Bund and the boat ride on the Huangpu River. The Bund is a gorgeous wall complete with flowers and leaves that made patterns on it lining the main street of Shanghai commercial district.
It was beautiful and stunning to see the commercial buildings (including the Shanghai Tower) lighted up at night along the river banks. With orange, blue, red, pink, green, purple, grey and many colored hues with many designs and patterns - all of us agreed that this was the icing on the cake, the best part of the whole tour!
The boat cruise took us about an hour and God was good in giving us clear weather so that we could take clear shots of the lighted buildings.
We visited the Lion Forest Garden, a scenic location that was supposedly a favorite holiday resort for the empress. Here stones in the shape of lions (apparently transported from the sea) were placed in the gardens for the emperor and empress's enjoyment.
So huge were some of the stones that they formed small mountains with labyrinths in which one could climb and walk through. These were actually limestone mountains and rocks eroded into their present shapes by the elements.
It was here I go to know the oldest member of our group, an 80 plus grandmother with 12 children (including 2 pairs of twins)! She could still walk although she needed some support holding on to her granddaughter who followed her for the tour. This is one thing I like about group tours - making new friends.
Again we were taken to 3 shopping places:
1. Silk Museum - I have been to a silk shop in Beijing but not like this one. At the shop in Beijing we were only shown the loom as an exhibit. Here at Shanghai the silk museum was actually the factory where the silk was harvested from the cocoons of live silkworms. We picked out the greenish bluish worms squirming between our fingers. Fear factor anyone? Just put them in your mouth!
We saw how the good silkworm casings were separated from the bad ones. Then the casings were soaked in hot water and the threads separated at a long loom. One by one the silk threads gradually formed a half-opaque silk blanket that could be stretched by hand on all sides. The silk blanket were then placed inside silk bed-sheets thus making silk spreads. This was real-life not just an exhibits!
So good was this place that our tour members must have spent RMB20k buying silk bed-sheets, bed-spreads, pillows, pillow-covers, comforters, mattress protectors at the silk shops. The grandmother also bought some lovely silk blouses too.
No wonder the tour guide was smiling from cheek to cheek!
2. We were then taken to a jade museum. Here a charming man (he says he is one of the partners) married to a Malaysian with a house in Taynton View gave us a talk on feng shui (most of the time I really don't know what he is saying though)! He took up about an hour and half of our time extolling the virtues of jade and telling stories.
All I know is that the jade pendants are really expensive. They cost something like RMB44k to RMB100k (divide by half to get the RM)! Break it and you probably would have to break your savings to pay them back!
3. We were again taken shopping this time to a medical shop known as TongRen Healthcare. Eager to close a sale, they felt my pulse and said that I should avoid animal innards (actually I have no taste for these things) and they told Tim to avoid fried things. However all their diagnosis seem to be the same for almost everyone!
The cream for burns and arthritis plasters were good but unfortunately they were not willing to sell them piecemeal even though our group wanted to buy 9 of the cream!
2 by 2 we were then taken into consultation cubicles by the Chinese sinsehs present.
One of the Chinese sinseh wanted to recommend Chinese herbs worth RMB400 a month for Tim! We made a hasty retreat.
The highlight of Shanghai was the bus ride passing the Bund and the boat ride on the Huangpu River. The Bund is a gorgeous wall complete with flowers and leaves that made patterns on it lining the main street of Shanghai commercial district.
It was beautiful and stunning to see the commercial buildings (including the Shanghai Tower) lighted up at night along the river banks. With orange, blue, red, pink, green, purple, grey and many colored hues with many designs and patterns - all of us agreed that this was the icing on the cake, the best part of the whole tour!
The boat cruise took us about an hour and God was good in giving us clear weather so that we could take clear shots of the lighted buildings.
We stayed the night at the elegant Rayfont Shanghai Xuhui Hotel.
Suzhou - Venice of Asia
Perhaps one of the most beautiful cities in China must be Suzhou also known as the Venice of Asia due to its many canals.
Here we had good looking male tour guide (apparently a University graduate) who took us to the 7-mile ShanTang Old Street. We saw Chinese boats cruising up and down the canal. The front doors of the houses at the Old Street opened up to the road but the back door opened up to the river that was very clean. It was a beautiful sight with the overhanging trees and lanterns in the background. Truly it reminded me of Venice but in a more old-fashioned way.
We were left to explore the small curiosity shops along the street but we did not find anything we could buy as souvenirs.
Later we were taken to see our 3rd show - the Suzhou delicate traditional song and dance show at the Suzhou bird nest theater. Like I said this trip is unique in the sense that we could video tape every show we watched in Hangzhou, Wuxi and Suzhou.
Some common features of Chinese shows:
1. lavish back-drops making use of the digital images of beautiful Chinese sceneries like a sense surround
2. awesome stage that can rise or go up and go down
3. fantastic acrobatics and stunts
4. flying stunts
5. traditional music and instruments
6. song & dancing include fighting scenes that are graceful but with a story to tell
It was here that Tim and I got lost as we were the last to leave (going to toilet) and we took the wrong escalator down the other entrance. Praying so hard, we back-tracked and waited for the taiyo at the reception area. Thank goodness she came back for us!
Here we had good looking male tour guide (apparently a University graduate) who took us to the 7-mile ShanTang Old Street. We saw Chinese boats cruising up and down the canal. The front doors of the houses at the Old Street opened up to the road but the back door opened up to the river that was very clean. It was a beautiful sight with the overhanging trees and lanterns in the background. Truly it reminded me of Venice but in a more old-fashioned way.
We were left to explore the small curiosity shops along the street but we did not find anything we could buy as souvenirs.
Later we were taken to see our 3rd show - the Suzhou delicate traditional song and dance show at the Suzhou bird nest theater. Like I said this trip is unique in the sense that we could video tape every show we watched in Hangzhou, Wuxi and Suzhou.
Some common features of Chinese shows:
1. lavish back-drops making use of the digital images of beautiful Chinese sceneries like a sense surround
2. awesome stage that can rise or go up and go down
3. fantastic acrobatics and stunts
4. flying stunts
5. traditional music and instruments
6. song & dancing include fighting scenes that are graceful but with a story to tell
Wuxi - Hollywood of China
We made the 3-hour bus ride to Wuxi from Hangzhou on the second day.
At each city we had a change of tour guide. At Hangzhou was a friendly guide by the name of Chang who had been to Malaysia and knew all about durians!
At Wuxi we visited the Hollywood of China called Wuxi Studios. Spanning more that 80k square miles, this is the movie set specially built according to the architecture of the Tang and Han dynasties with palaces, houses, gardens, pastures, gates, rivers, lakes, boats (big and minature) to cater for the shooting of some of the most dramatic Chinese movies like the Romance of the Three Kingdoms.
We took pictures posing with lotus-filled lakes and ancient Chinese junks built for battle scenes! We visited ancient Chinese homes where supposedly battle strategies were discussed and mapped.
We took a boat ride in one of the Chinese junks and enjoyed the wind and the breeze. The weather was very clear and cooling.
It was here that we watched our second show in the open air theater where guests sat on wooden benches in the circle. The show was about horseman and fighting among the kingdoms with horses, sword-plays, canons and explosions.
After Wuxi studios we were taken to a Pearl showroom. There the tour guide was so eager to make sales that she started the sales pitch even before the sales lady came! Pearl cleansers and creams were going for almost 1.2k RMB!
However some of us bought beautiful pearl earrings for RMB 200, hand-creams made of crushed pearls for RMB 25 per bottle, bangles with pearls for RMB 100.
We hopped onto the bus for our lunch (a spread of 10 dishes or so) and made the next stop at the Zisha Gallery. Here all kinds of tea-pots were sold. Our tour members bought clay lined mugs and vacuum flasks. RMB300 with a free teapot set thrown in!
We got on the bus again for another hour's ride to Suzhou.
At each city we had a change of tour guide. At Hangzhou was a friendly guide by the name of Chang who had been to Malaysia and knew all about durians!
At Wuxi we visited the Hollywood of China called Wuxi Studios. Spanning more that 80k square miles, this is the movie set specially built according to the architecture of the Tang and Han dynasties with palaces, houses, gardens, pastures, gates, rivers, lakes, boats (big and minature) to cater for the shooting of some of the most dramatic Chinese movies like the Romance of the Three Kingdoms.
We took pictures posing with lotus-filled lakes and ancient Chinese junks built for battle scenes! We visited ancient Chinese homes where supposedly battle strategies were discussed and mapped.
We took a boat ride in one of the Chinese junks and enjoyed the wind and the breeze. The weather was very clear and cooling.
It was here that we watched our second show in the open air theater where guests sat on wooden benches in the circle. The show was about horseman and fighting among the kingdoms with horses, sword-plays, canons and explosions.
After Wuxi studios we were taken to a Pearl showroom. There the tour guide was so eager to make sales that she started the sales pitch even before the sales lady came! Pearl cleansers and creams were going for almost 1.2k RMB!
However some of us bought beautiful pearl earrings for RMB 200, hand-creams made of crushed pearls for RMB 25 per bottle, bangles with pearls for RMB 100.
We hopped onto the bus for our lunch (a spread of 10 dishes or so) and made the next stop at the Zisha Gallery. Here all kinds of tea-pots were sold. Our tour members bought clay lined mugs and vacuum flasks. RMB300 with a free teapot set thrown in!
We got on the bus again for another hour's ride to Suzhou.
Friday, October 18, 2013
Hangzhou & Wuxi
Buffet breakfast at the hotel was simply scrumptious. We ate the local dumplings in soups and tried the noodles and fried rice. We had the local deserts and also local broths. Fruits such as melons and honeydew were common.
In the morning, Seow Wen left us at the Haining China Leather City Mall. The entire mall was dedicated to all things leather - leather bags, leather jackets, leather souvenirs, leather shoes. At the lower ground floor the bags were affordable but as we went higher up we were shocked to find the fur-lined leather jackets were selling at RMB100k!
The other thing we found puzzling about China toilets in an expansive mall like this was that they were all mainly squatting toilets and dimly lighted! In fact of the toilets in other places featured only the steel longkangs!
After the free and easy shopping we were taken to the North Peak mountains and up to a temple (we did not go in). Apparently the point is the highest point in West Lake accessible only by cable car seating 6 people at a time. The view of the green landscape below us while on the cable car was stunning.
After a sumptuous buffet lunch at a revolving restaurant in Hangzhou (giant crab claws, fish with figs, different kinds of nutritious soups, barbecue fish, Beijing duck, barbecue meats, herbal teas, traditional Chinese deserts and many more) we then visited the Long Jing Tea Village for a taste of Hangzhou's famous Long Jing Tea.
"No discount" was the oft-quoted phrase of the tour guide because this was apparently a government funded industry and prices were fixed. We were taken into a room and heard the virtues of AAA green tea extolled to us. The price? A cool RM600 for the best quality green tea! Nevertheless some of our tour mates asked for freebies which were also given!
The accommodation at Wuxi was the Scholars Hotel (a classical hotel) with books as our bedside companion.
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