Recently we made the trip back to Penang for CNY and had a very expensive reunion dinner with Tim's family. Last year our share was about RM250. This year the whole table was RM1k! Wah liao...chiak beh liao...bankrupt liao....!!
Well on another note....I checked my mother's IC and I realize that she is 80 years old! Birthdate: 25 November 1933 (born before the world wars).
No wonder her memory seems to be failing her. She keeps repeating things over and over again. And I realized that the thing that matters most to her now is that we give her the monthly allowance to keep her going. I was just thinking to myself 'how come all that seems to matter to my mother is money...."
She says she is very 'kek sim' (hock kien for excessive worrying) when my sister's cheque got delayed in the mail. Well....blame Pos Malaysia. Ching's cheque finally came - one month late!
She lives for her plants, going to the temple, going to the market, meeting her friends, going to the shops to buy her monthly sanitary staff and her medication, going to pay her utilities and the visits that we make to Penang.
However I thank God that my mum is still relatively healthy save for being a little hard of hearing and arthritis in the knees. She is careful with her diet as she is diabetic. However she loves black coffee which she will take at least twice a day.
Adeline says it is not good for her to drink black coffee (or eat roti chanai which seems to be her favorite breakfast) but I said to let her eat and drink what she wants as she is already in the last days of her life. Let her enjoy her life and there is no point to stop her from doing what she wants.....
These days the driver, Arul takes her around to all her favorite haunts in Penang. Vernie (Suan's maid) also comes on and off to clean the house and take her blood sugar/blood pressure. Thank God for Vernie. Bless her heart as she loves my mother....
3 of us continue to support her financially assuring her that we will see to her monthly financial needs for her continued comfort as long as she lived. For this year, I have upped her monthly allowance up to 3 times the usual amount I give her making the amount more than RM1k.
It can be stressful @ times but I must learn to give thanks. It is always more blessed to give than to receive (Acts 20:35). When I am short of money and often I turn to Tim who has become my friendly money lender (he loans me money to use until my next pay cheque or bonus).
We have decided that a driver is the best option for now as she has refused to have a maid in the house (language problem).
Mum is also scared of maids (horror stories of maids bullying old folks) as she says that they tend to be constantly on the smart phone rather than doing housework. From my experience, they do become phone-addicts after 3 years working with you because of family-familiarity! I had 2 Filipino maids before. Whenever I was on leave, I became their telephone receptionist on the house phone. Those days hand phones were not available......
I continue to pray for my mother's good health and that there will be no need for us to put her in a retirement home. It is better for her to stay in her familiar environment, a place she has called home after my father's death. Tim used to say that if we take old people out of their familiar environment they will die faster...
O yes one more thing, my mother keeps on repeating things. I guess she needs to keep on reminding herself of things to avoid memory loss....
I hope my children will take care of me and Tim when we grow old into our 70s and 80s like the way we take care of our mother.
Sunday, February 9, 2014
The "no-blame hamberger" theory - Thai way of dishing out criticism
I really like this article which appeared in the STAR on Feb 8.
Maybe I should try this on my children or the Gen Y working with me.
Apparently in Thailand when it comes to doing business, understanding and practicing Thai cultures is extremely important.
The success of Vinder who runs Mrs Balbir group of restaurant in Bangkok (a chain of North Indian restaurants) is according to her "learning how to deal with Thais according to their culture" when handling issues or difficult staff.
A true food enthusiast, Vinder calls this her "no-blame hamburger" theory".
She starts with:
1. Bun on the top
"First you have to praise them, fluff them up a little bit, something along the lines of 'I really like this about you, you are doing really well in this area and I appreciate your hard work'.
2. Meat in the middle
"Then you come to the meat, which is the real issue. But the trick is to approach it without putting the blame on the person. Say something like 'I think this particular task could have been done differently. Are you having some sort of difficulty, hence you are unable to perform this task well?'
3. Bun at the bottom
"Finally end with the last bun. 'How do you think you and I can work together so that it does not happen again?'
Not pointing fingers, according to Vinder, is a way of showing respect, which to the Thais is most important.
Hmm....I wonder if this will work with my children or with the young man working with me who seems to be spending more hours on his smart phone than he should be on his assignments....
Maybe I should try this on my children or the Gen Y working with me.
Apparently in Thailand when it comes to doing business, understanding and practicing Thai cultures is extremely important.
The success of Vinder who runs Mrs Balbir group of restaurant in Bangkok (a chain of North Indian restaurants) is according to her "learning how to deal with Thais according to their culture" when handling issues or difficult staff.
A true food enthusiast, Vinder calls this her "no-blame hamburger" theory".
She starts with:
1. Bun on the top
"First you have to praise them, fluff them up a little bit, something along the lines of 'I really like this about you, you are doing really well in this area and I appreciate your hard work'.
2. Meat in the middle
"Then you come to the meat, which is the real issue. But the trick is to approach it without putting the blame on the person. Say something like 'I think this particular task could have been done differently. Are you having some sort of difficulty, hence you are unable to perform this task well?'
3. Bun at the bottom
"Finally end with the last bun. 'How do you think you and I can work together so that it does not happen again?'
Not pointing fingers, according to Vinder, is a way of showing respect, which to the Thais is most important.
Hmm....I wonder if this will work with my children or with the young man working with me who seems to be spending more hours on his smart phone than he should be on his assignments....
Saturday, February 8, 2014
Lessons learnt on how to avoid being robbed
Recently there seem to be a number of robberies happening in KL and Selangor.
Last month Amanda had the window of her Myvi broken by an Indonesia guy and his girlfriend who thought that the bags @ the back of the car contained computer or valuables. She knew that it was an Indonesian guy as he left behind his Uniclo t-shirt which he used to soften the sound of the massive knock on the back window of the car! As it turned out all the bags contained her CNY clothes. I thanked God that my sweet young lady (matured beyond her years) said that "never mind...consider it a blessing for someone in need..."
However Amanda being the girl that she is promptly went out shopping again and came back with more clothes!!
Anyway as she puts it, we should not make a fuss about the second purchase as she was using her hard earned money gained from moonlighting on weekends as a sales promoter and not her parents' money!
Then we heard from Adeline that her boyfriend's sister got robbed @ 4 am in the morning. A group of guys in helmets just came at her as she was walking back to the condo (she had parked her car a distance away) and began bashing her up. They bashed her so severely that her ears were badly injured. They finally stopped when she threw her handbag at them.
Lessons learnt:
1. Don't come home late @ night. If you need to work late drive straight to your doorstep.
2. Don't park in isolated places.
3. Don't put bags @ the back of the car.
4. If you get robbed, just give thanks and consider yourself as contributing to the needy people in our society
5. Don't walk alone if you are coming home late @ night
6. Let go of your hand bag
7. RUN!
Last month Amanda had the window of her Myvi broken by an Indonesia guy and his girlfriend who thought that the bags @ the back of the car contained computer or valuables. She knew that it was an Indonesian guy as he left behind his Uniclo t-shirt which he used to soften the sound of the massive knock on the back window of the car! As it turned out all the bags contained her CNY clothes. I thanked God that my sweet young lady (matured beyond her years) said that "never mind...consider it a blessing for someone in need..."
However Amanda being the girl that she is promptly went out shopping again and came back with more clothes!!
Anyway as she puts it, we should not make a fuss about the second purchase as she was using her hard earned money gained from moonlighting on weekends as a sales promoter and not her parents' money!
Then we heard from Adeline that her boyfriend's sister got robbed @ 4 am in the morning. A group of guys in helmets just came at her as she was walking back to the condo (she had parked her car a distance away) and began bashing her up. They bashed her so severely that her ears were badly injured. They finally stopped when she threw her handbag at them.
Lessons learnt:
1. Don't come home late @ night. If you need to work late drive straight to your doorstep.
2. Don't park in isolated places.
3. Don't put bags @ the back of the car.
4. If you get robbed, just give thanks and consider yourself as contributing to the needy people in our society
5. Don't walk alone if you are coming home late @ night
6. Let go of your hand bag
7. RUN!
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